Archives For high school ministry

Why You Need Support

March 25, 2013 — 2 Comments

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Being connected is important. I don’t care how well you think you are doing, one day you are going to crack and if you are not a part of a well-connected team or a part of a network of other pastors it can be a lonely, lonely place. I am lucky to be on a great team. We talk ministry, we have good days and we have bad days in ministry. But they are there for all kinds of support. Even if I was not on a team, I still have a bunch of other pastors, both my age and older, that I am connected to and make sure I get together with them on a regular basis. I can go to them and vent, celebrate, ask for prayer etc.

Even if you are not on a team, creating sort of your own “team” to surround yourself with is important. Here is why:

Bounce ideas off of: I know how I work. When I have an idea, it’s okay. For me, I love to have people in ministry who I can bounce ideas off of to make them great ideas. I am a big supporter of the idea that you can do something good, but with a solid team that “good” thing can become a great thing. And it is just fun to talk and dream big with people with the same passion.

Celebrate with: Try high-fiving yourself. It’s lame. It’s just clapping. When your team scores a touch down, you want to stand up and cheer and celebrate and be with people who want the same thing. In ministry, it is always nice when God moves, but there is something about surrounding yourself with people who can celebrate with you is huge.

People to pray and support you: Not everyday is going to be a celebration. You might have a rough day with people you work with. You might have a rough day with a student. You might have a rough day with your boss. It is important to have this “team” of people you can safely vent to, talk through the situation with, and have them lift you up in prayer. This is one of the most important things you can do for yourself in ministry.

We are on the same team: I cannot believe sometimes how hard it is to get youth pastors together. I love just to talk ministry with, steal ideas from, get inspiration from, hopefully give a little inspiration as well. We are all on a team if you think about it. If you do not have the opportunity to work on a team of people, create your own. Create a network of other student pastors in your immediate area and get lunch once a month. Be encouraged. Pray for one another. Share ideas. Combine your heads. It’s huge and it’s a game changer.

Do not be an island. You were made to be on a team. We are better together.

In high school ministry, Leadership, student ministry , , , ,
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4 Important Questions A Small Group Leader Should Ask Themselves

March 14, 2013 — Leave a comment

When a small group leader takes on leading a group they are taking lead of a group of students they have a responsibility to move forward in their journey to spiritual maturity. But, before that can happen, the leader must conclude precisely where the group member is on that journey.

These four questions would be helpful to the leader to be answered concerning each group member. The answers to these questions will determine how the group leader relates to and sometimes converses with each group member.

1. Is he or she a follower of Christ?

If a student in the group has not made that decision to follow Jesus there are a few things the leader can do when they know that student is not yet a believer.

  • Make the most of every opportunity the Holy Spirit creates to voice the gospel to that group member
  • Watch the group member closely during group meetings and capture a transformational moment when it occurs
  • Carefully answer any question the group member has and bathe that answer in the person and story of Jesus.
  • Integrate the Gospel into every group conversation when it is possible and appropriate.

2. Does the student have a past that is holding them back from fully committing?

Sometimes student don’t realize the freedom that they have in Jesus. They think because they did that one thing, there is no way Jesus can use them. Sometimes there is drama or abuse in the family, there is a hole in a friendship, maybe they are stuck in some sexual sin that they think they God can’t possibly understand and help them move past it. Realizing whether or not a group member is in this situation will explain their attitudes and reactions to many conversations and will make it possible for the group leader to point them toward the help they need that can aid them in their movement toward freedom.

3. Is he or she proactively seeking Christ-likeness?

Many of the times student make that decision to follow Jesus but they think that is the end. They made that decision. So now what? As leader we need to help be proactive in their faith, striving them to be more Christ-like. When the leader realizes the sort of spiritual apathy which is present they should motivate the student to be involved in spiritual disciplines, talk about study about God and who He is, and slowly move them toward a walk with Christ that is real, authentic, and transformational.

4. How can I help the student take the next step?

Once a group leader is aware of the answer to the three questions you just read, the group leader must ask herself/himself how they can help the group member to commit to taking whatever the next step is for them. Helping group members commit to next steps is the first step toward transformation that is real and eternal.

Knowing the answer to these questions for you student can help you engage them in conversation to knowing who Jesus is.

In high school ministry, Small Groups, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry , , , ,
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Stop: Have Fun With Your Students

March 13, 2013 — Leave a comment

When I am in the zone, I’m in the zone and there is no stopping me. When it comes to leading a small group or running an event sometimes I get so into it and want everything to go so smoothly and perfect that I am on such a mission I don’t even enjoy what is happening around me. I’m focused. But that is not a bad thing right? Maybe sometimes it is when we are not focusing on the right thing. Sometimes we just need to loosen our grab of our ministry, allow the Holy Spirit do what he does, and we need to have fun with our students. Enjoy the ride. Enjoy your job. Have a blast.

I cannot tell you how many times I have been so focused on having everything perfect that I missed out on having fun with the students who are there. I’m not saying, don’t be on top of things but when you plan something there is only so much you can do sometimes and you just need to step back and enjoy.

Having fun with your students is the quickest way to the best relationship with them. Having fun with your students is the best way to break down any walls that where once there. Having fun with your students is part of your job; not the only part, but a huge part. If we are not stepping back at some point and thinking to ourselves, “I can’t believe I get to do this for a job (or volunteer)” then you are too wrapped up with a tight grip on your ministry.

I truly believe I have the best job in the world. I cannot believe I get to do this for a living. It is so much fun. So let it be fun and go have fun with your students. This is something I have been trying to do more and more in my own life and ministry because I get so focused on “ministry” but lose focus on having fun with my students and having real, genuine relationships with them.

In Communication, high school ministry, Leadership, Youth Ministry , , , ,
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Ministry Jealousy…It’s Not a Competition

February 28, 2013 — 1 Comment

I thought I would post something based on an article I read the other day. “Dear Youth Pastor; It Isn’t a Competition” on the Resurgence. Read it if you get a chance. But the post below is something I posted a few months ago but thought it went well with this post:

I’ll be the first one to admit it. I get jealous of other pastors or ministries. I’m human. There are other people who are just better at speaking than me, who are more creative than me, and you see it by how many people follow them, listen to them, show up to their events or services. But pastors cant get jealous of each other right? How does one combat not getting jealous of other ministries? Here are some things that I have to check myself on.

  • Jealousy will make a person lose focus. When you are jealous, you are focusing on someone’s else’s God-movement and not focusing on the one that God has given you. It causes us to loose sight of the responsibility that God has given us when we focus on someone else’s. I know for me, if I were to focus on what my ministry as much as I spent watching someone do theirs, I probably would do better myself. When you get jealous, your path is set by THEM rather than the Lord.
  • Admit it. There is no use of hiding it. Why? Because we know we’re in it for God’s Kingdom, not for ours. Does it matter if the church down the road is bigger, better, more influential if God’s Kingdom is advancing? Let’s just call it like it is, it is sinful and worldly. It is usually out of our own spirit of jealousy and it will cause us to say things and think things that are not kingdom building. Suddenly they’re not our brother/sister any more, they’re ‘competition’.
  • Turn it into inspiration. Obviously you think that person is successful, otherwise you wouldn’t have jealous feelings about what they are doing. Instead of sitting back and letting it happen, turn it into a learning experience. They are obviously doing something right in a way that you want to see your ministry succeed in as well. Seek them out and and take them out. Pick their brain. You never know what you can learn and maybe you will see what ever results you saw from their event at yours. If not, you have a new ministry friend and contact.
  • This might not be what you need. When people are jealous, it causes you to see things that your ministry may not need, but because you see “them” have it, you want it. But the thing is, a ministry might not have a strong fellowship aspect, so they try a dance party and it was a huge success for them. So you see it and you want it. But your group already has a great fellowship aspect but it really needs more people in small groups, but you dont see it because you’re so focused on their needs and not your ministry’s need.

When we are jealous it usually means that we are are not satisfied with what God has given us. Because when you look at what you have, you are blessed. If we are teaching the what the Bible says we need to believe that God will not forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), and we need to be content with what we have. In order to combat jealousy we need to be more like Jesus and less like ourselves. If we find ourselves to be jealous we need to in prayer and work on changing our hearts to those we are jealous of. Jealousy is such a human thing to be involved in and it has no place is Godly work.

In God, high school ministry, Leadership, student ministry, Youth Ministry , ,
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What Do You Do When a Student Walks Away

February 21, 2013 — 2 Comments

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So a student starts coming to your group because they have hit rock bottom and wants to do something to turn their life around. So naturally, the church is somewhere they think they need to go. And they are right. They jump all in. Making friends, reading the Bible, praying, all the stuff. Real, authentic relationships are forming, they are opening up, they say they are getting closer and closer with God to where they just need one more step forward to start a relationship with Him…and then they are gone. They disappear. They stop coming, don’t call or text back. You see on Facebook they are back to their old ways. What the heck happened? What do we do?

This just happened to me. I thought I would share about how I go about it and hopefully it can help somebody else:

  • Let them know they are missed. Obviously something, whether inside them or inside the group, happened. I just to let them know they are loved and missed no matter what. Letting them know by either on Facebook or text or call, even when they do not respond back they will know they are not just going to disappear without a trace. I want them to know they are missed.
  • Pray for them. Might seem obvious but I think it’s huge. Something going on, and sometime the only thing you can do is pray for them. Pray for their heart to be opened to what you saw them leaning towards when they were around.
  • Sick the students from their school on them. I tell the guys in my group just to love on him at school. Not to over bearing, but even though he is not coming to the group anymore that doesn’t mean he is going to be ignored at school by the guys. They will talk to him at lunch, hang at school and always invite him to come back to group to hang out. They will feel the love from the group even if they stopped coming to the group.
  • When and if they come back, welcome them like the prodigal son returning and make it known they were missed and that they are loved. Make it seem like they never have missed a beat.

It’s always rough seeing a student walk away when they were so close to knowing Jesus. We just need to be patient and pray God is working in their heart.

*I wrote this post a few days ago, and last night I had to come add this part on because a student in my group who has seemed to do this just came back to group for the first time in a long time. So for me, this works. It worked. It’s working.

In high school ministry, Leadership, Small Groups, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry , , , , ,
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Don’t Forget About the “Small” Wins

February 18, 2013 — 2 Comments

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Everyone is always looking for the next best thing. We always are looking for the next big event that is going to change everything about our ministry. We are looking for next big sermon that is going to change our student’s lives. We are trying to find the next big book to read.

We are always looking for the next big thing. We are so focused on the next big thing we forget about the small wins our ministry is making. We have to remember the small things because it is the small conversations with students about how they are overcoming a struggle, how they are working on healing a broken relationship, how they are taking that next step towards Jesus that are the wins in which will keep us going strong in ministry. A reminder of why we do what we do.

Here are some “small” wins I would love to celebrate from this week:

  • Had a conversation that a student who said they have been in the Word for one week straight.
  • A student has not had a drink of alcohol in a month and wants to keep going strong.
  • A new student in my group who has read the book we are going through every week and is growing with his relationship with Jesus.
  • A student prayed for the first time.
  • A student who is going to break off an unhealthy relationship because it is not God honoring.
  • A student owning up to a mistake and wants to fix it.
  • Someone forgiving a best friend that betrayed them.

These are some wins I almost over looked this week and I felt God telling me, “No, these are huge wins for these students. You don’t over look this.” Let’s make sure as we are looking ahead and trying to take our ministry to the next level, let’s not miss the everyday wins and celebrate the crap out of them.

In Communication, God, high school ministry, student ministry, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry , , , , ,
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21 Day Prayer Challenge for Students

February 12, 2013 — 1 Comment

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I am really excited to share this with you today. Over the past few months I have been talking to my small group guys about prayer. What it seems is they WANT to pray more, but they don’t know what to pray for exactly. So it got me thinking, what if they had a prayer guide to help them direct their thoughts on certain prayers so they can become more focused and not have the random thoughts we all tend to get while trying to pray. So I came up with the “21 Day Prayer Chalenge” for students and its only $5 on Download Youth Ministry.

If you want to check out a version of what a day looks like, check it out HERE.

Below is the description and you can click HERE to go check it out:

“It’s been said that 21-days makes a habit. Most students say they want prayer to more of a habit in their lives. The only problem with that is they don’t know how to make that happen and what the in the world do you pray for 21 days straight? This booklet is 21 days of guided prayers for students in hopes that at the end of reading this, students would 1) have made prayer a significant part of their day 2) have an idea on how to direct their prayers on certain topics per day and 3) get to know God closer than they have ever before. Each day has a different topic to pray about, a 3-minute devotional, some Scripture to reflect on, and a guided prayer list to help them make prayer a real, authentic, directed, part of their everyday life.

The list of topics cover: your heart, faith, hope, love seeing God’s glory, obedience, trust, family and friends, sharing your faith, living sacrifice, change, over coming fear, compassion, empathy, worship, kindness, evangelism, surrender, serving, self-control, and the power of prayer.

As you can see, there is a ton of topics in which students can be praying in their lives, and having them take this 21-day challenge will help them make prayer a habit in their lives and help them know what to pray for and how to pray it.”

My hope is that students will be able to make prayer a daily and meaning part of their lives. If you get it, let me know what you think!

In God, high school ministry, Leadership, Prayer, student ministry, Uncategorized , ,
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4 Things Intentional Relational Ministry Shows To Students

February 11, 2013 — Leave a comment

Intentional, relational, authentic ministry. I would like to think this is the goal for everyone and anyone in youth ministry. Students are the most accurate “B.S. Detectors” and can sniff out a fake from a mile away. One thing that has been on my heart lately is being real, genuine and intentional about relationships with students that I know well and students I just met. Whether it is the guys in my small group or the the student sitting by themselves in services, being intentional about the relationship I start and develop with them is key. What does it say?

  • I Care About You- In any case with a student, whether how well you know them, any step you take into getting to know them a little better than you already do, shows them that you care. It is really easy just to say hi during the service, but to ask them about themselves, how their relationship is with God and simply just have fun, shows how much they mean to you and that you care for them.
  • I’m Not Just Another Face- I am really bad with names. I mean, I’m awful with names. It’s embarrassing. Being intentional about remembering a new persons name will go further than you can even think of. Just the other day, another leader told me that a student who I met once before, who has not been to church in a month, said I remembered her name and it made her feel so welcome and loved that she had to tell a leader and was glad she was back. It then sparked a great conversation. Make their face known.
  • You’re Proud of Me? - I have been making a point to tell the students who are serving in our ministry to help me pull off our weekends that I am so thankful for what they do and that they contribute so much to the weekend and that I am proud. Never have I ever said that and have someone be upset or angry. Their face lights up. These can be a game changer knowing that you, their leader, are proud of what they are doing.
  • You’re a Nerd. Me Too. Let’s Be Friends- Sometimes to break the ice, you have to look stupid and make them laugh. Since laughing is one of my favorite things, I like to assume everyone else likes to as well. Sometimes you have to look dumb and not care what others think. This works for me at least. For example, I met a ton of new students at an event. I showed all of them a new dance move I made up called “The Knowles” (a video will be made someday with this, I promise). I looked dumb, but I got the whole group of new students to do it as well and spread the word. 2 days later I got a Facebook message about how excited they were that they made a new friend by doing the dance move to a student, and a friendship started.

These are my own personal intentional relational goals that I am working on. If you have any personal goals as well, please share! We are all in this together.

In Communication, high school ministry, Leadership, Relational, student ministry, Youth Ministry , , , ,
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How To Make Your Large Group Like Your Small Group

February 7, 2013 — 4 Comments

In most churches we say, “Weekend/Midweek services are the main attraction to new believers, and small groups is where they go to grow more spiritually.” I believe this. In the ministry I am involved in does this. Our weekends are to EXPOSE the Gospel to students and small groups are to have them EXPERIENCE Jesus. I am all for the weekend/midweek services, I LOVE them. I love the crowds because almost all of the time, there are new students there. But there is something that I think we need to be aware of.

This past year, in my group, I have experienced at least 30% growth. Incredible right? Oh, by group I mean my small group. It’s growing. Fast. Why? Because my guys are bringing in friends. Friends who do not know Jesus, and those friends are hanging around every week.

All the groups who are growing have something in common, and as someone who loves the weekend services, has challenged me personally to see what are we doing in small groups that is attracting non-believers almost more than weekend programs, and how can we transfer that into our weekends.

All of the small groups that are growing have this in common from what I see:

  • There is good food- Notice how I didn’t just say “food”, I said good food. Free food is great, free GOOD food is unreal. Students love to hang out and eat. It is a community building time. It’s laughing, talking, hanging out. Students come to where the food is. In my small group, all of the moms take turns cooking for us. We eat and hang for an hour before we study. Obviously during the weekends it could be hard to have free food every week. Chances are there is a fast food (we have Chick-fil-a and In-N-Out) near you. After service announce you are going there to eat as a group and I guarantee you will have students who you never have met before there hanging out.
  • The group is real- Groups that are growing are the ones in which people talk about real things and real relationship forms. I’m not talking about shallow teaching, the Gospel is the Gospel and when the Gospel is preached, God moves. I’m talking about shallow relationships among the leaders and the students. In small groups, the leaders are authentic, they open up. Students tend to do that too when their leader does. I just had a leader talk to me about how he felt he was not making a connection with the students on the weekends. I told him to talk to only a few students how you would in the small group instead of trying to say hi to all of them who walk in. It changed everything. Be real, students will be also.
  • Students know they can ask ANY question- One of the new guys in our group asked, “How does someone worship and show love to God.” For a group mostly of Christian kids everyone was sort of taken back by the “simple” question but they looked at me to answer. I asked them to share how they do it, and it was awesome to see them minister to their friend. The point? Are we making it known to our student they can/there is someone to ask a real, honest question they have in our weekend/midweek services. Chances are if they really know there are people to talk to, they would find them and seek them out.
  • They know and are prayed for immediately- In our growing small groups, prayer is a huge deal. They know if something is going on in their life that they share, the entire group will stop and pray for them right then and there. That’s so encouraging. I am bad sometimes at saying on the weekends, “I’ll pray for you” and then don’t. This is something at Saddleback this last year we have been focusing on, praying right then and there for our students, letting them know they can be prayed for NOW. And I believe it has transformed our ministry to a level in which it was not before. Students are coming out of the woodwork for prayer. It’s awesome.

There is a reason why these small groups are growing and students want their friends to come to it. We need to try to tap into why that is. I’m sure there are more reasons, and I might even post them as a continuation. Do you have any thoughts? Let me know.

In God, high school ministry, Leadership, Ministry Idea, Relational, Small Groups, student ministry, Youth Ministry , , ,
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4 Questions I Always Ask Our Volunteers

January 29, 2013 — 2 Comments

Small groups are the back bone to any ministry. I truly believe that real life change happens in small groups. The weekends are sexy, small groups are messy. Real life, real faith, real change gets taked about in small groups. At HSM, each staff member is a coach of volunteers who are small group leaders. I have a coaching group of 13 different leaders. The job of a coach is to be a resource, a pastor, friend to your group of leaders who are leading the students in your group.

We proudly, and freely, give away the name “pastor”. Our small group leaders are the pastors to their students. They are the ones on the front lines with them on a weekly, and daily basis. As their coach, I want to make sure that they are doing okay, in teaching their group and on a personal level. I try take make sure I meet with each leader for coffee once every 6 weeks, just to get some face time with them and hang out with them a little bit. We talk about life and ministry. It is a great time.

There are a few questions I will ask my coaching group every single time we meet to get a feel of how everything is going for them. Doing this, I feel gives them a sense of what they are doing is great by pouring into the lives of these teens, makes them feel like the staff in which they serve under cares for them and supports them, and develops our relationship as people who are on the front lines of ministry together.

Here are some questions I always ask:

How are you doing?- I always start personal. I want to know how they are doing with life and volunteer ministry. Sometimes this question is the only one I get to because there is something going on that they want to talk about. And I am okay with that. I would rather talk personal stuff and make sure they are okay before anything else.

How is your group going?- It’s a simple question, but with a variety of answers. It is just an opportunity for them to be honest with how their group is going. What they are feeling about it, going about it, and how they think their students are responding to it. Sometimes it is just a great way for them to debrief whatever is going on because they have been thinking it for so long, it feels good to actually talk about it.

Are you doing anything in your group that is working that you would want other groups to know and try?- Not all of them have “something” but there have been a few times in which they would share something that is so simple or so fun, or so different, that I want to let other groups know and try to see maybe if it would work for them. I love when I get ideas from other leaders to try. And, it gives them a sense of ownership and encouragement because what they are doing can help other groups. I recommend this question.

Is there anything I can do to help make your group better?- This question can come with a whole bunch of different answers as well. Sometimes the answer is a critique on you because you were not doing something or it can be an honest answer of how you can be a better coach to make the small group of your team member and their students the best experience for their small groups. I am always wanting to know how I can support my team of leaders who minister to our students.

I know there are more questions I ask, but these are the ones I always want to try and get in to get a feel of how they are doing. What would you ask?

In Communication, high school ministry, Ministry Idea, Small Groups, student ministry, Youth Ministry , , ,
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