Archives For Saddleback High School Ministry

What Do You Do When a Student Walks Away

February 21, 2013 — 2 Comments

url-2

So a student starts coming to your group because they have hit rock bottom and wants to do something to turn their life around. So naturally, the church is somewhere they think they need to go. And they are right. They jump all in. Making friends, reading the Bible, praying, all the stuff. Real, authentic relationships are forming, they are opening up, they say they are getting closer and closer with God to where they just need one more step forward to start a relationship with Him…and then they are gone. They disappear. They stop coming, don’t call or text back. You see on Facebook they are back to their old ways. What the heck happened? What do we do?

This just happened to me. I thought I would share about how I go about it and hopefully it can help somebody else:

  • Let them know they are missed. Obviously something, whether inside them or inside the group, happened. I just to let them know they are loved and missed no matter what. Letting them know by either on Facebook or text or call, even when they do not respond back they will know they are not just going to disappear without a trace. I want them to know they are missed.
  • Pray for them. Might seem obvious but I think it’s huge. Something going on, and sometime the only thing you can do is pray for them. Pray for their heart to be opened to what you saw them leaning towards when they were around.
  • Sick the students from their school on them. I tell the guys in my group just to love on him at school. Not to over bearing, but even though he is not coming to the group anymore that doesn’t mean he is going to be ignored at school by the guys. They will talk to him at lunch, hang at school and always invite him to come back to group to hang out. They will feel the love from the group even if they stopped coming to the group.
  • When and if they come back, welcome them like the prodigal son returning and make it known they were missed and that they are loved. Make it seem like they never have missed a beat.

It’s always rough seeing a student walk away when they were so close to knowing Jesus. We just need to be patient and pray God is working in their heart.

*I wrote this post a few days ago, and last night I had to come add this part on because a student in my group who has seemed to do this just came back to group for the first time in a long time. So for me, this works. It worked. It’s working.

In high school ministry, Leadership, Small Groups, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry , , , , ,
permalink

Don’t Forget About the “Small” Wins

February 18, 2013 — 2 Comments

small-victories

Everyone is always looking for the next best thing. We always are looking for the next big event that is going to change everything about our ministry. We are looking for next big sermon that is going to change our student’s lives. We are trying to find the next big book to read.

We are always looking for the next big thing. We are so focused on the next big thing we forget about the small wins our ministry is making. We have to remember the small things because it is the small conversations with students about how they are overcoming a struggle, how they are working on healing a broken relationship, how they are taking that next step towards Jesus that are the wins in which will keep us going strong in ministry. A reminder of why we do what we do.

Here are some “small” wins I would love to celebrate from this week:

  • Had a conversation that a student who said they have been in the Word for one week straight.
  • A student has not had a drink of alcohol in a month and wants to keep going strong.
  • A new student in my group who has read the book we are going through every week and is growing with his relationship with Jesus.
  • A student prayed for the first time.
  • A student who is going to break off an unhealthy relationship because it is not God honoring.
  • A student owning up to a mistake and wants to fix it.
  • Someone forgiving a best friend that betrayed them.

These are some wins I almost over looked this week and I felt God telling me, “No, these are huge wins for these students. You don’t over look this.” Let’s make sure as we are looking ahead and trying to take our ministry to the next level, let’s not miss the everyday wins and celebrate the crap out of them.

In Communication, God, high school ministry, student ministry, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry , , , , ,
permalink

4 Things Intentional Relational Ministry Shows To Students

February 11, 2013 — Leave a comment

Intentional, relational, authentic ministry. I would like to think this is the goal for everyone and anyone in youth ministry. Students are the most accurate “B.S. Detectors” and can sniff out a fake from a mile away. One thing that has been on my heart lately is being real, genuine and intentional about relationships with students that I know well and students I just met. Whether it is the guys in my small group or the the student sitting by themselves in services, being intentional about the relationship I start and develop with them is key. What does it say?

  • I Care About You- In any case with a student, whether how well you know them, any step you take into getting to know them a little better than you already do, shows them that you care. It is really easy just to say hi during the service, but to ask them about themselves, how their relationship is with God and simply just have fun, shows how much they mean to you and that you care for them.
  • I’m Not Just Another Face- I am really bad with names. I mean, I’m awful with names. It’s embarrassing. Being intentional about remembering a new persons name will go further than you can even think of. Just the other day, another leader told me that a student who I met once before, who has not been to church in a month, said I remembered her name and it made her feel so welcome and loved that she had to tell a leader and was glad she was back. It then sparked a great conversation. Make their face known.
  • You’re Proud of Me? - I have been making a point to tell the students who are serving in our ministry to help me pull off our weekends that I am so thankful for what they do and that they contribute so much to the weekend and that I am proud. Never have I ever said that and have someone be upset or angry. Their face lights up. These can be a game changer knowing that you, their leader, are proud of what they are doing.
  • You’re a Nerd. Me Too. Let’s Be Friends- Sometimes to break the ice, you have to look stupid and make them laugh. Since laughing is one of my favorite things, I like to assume everyone else likes to as well. Sometimes you have to look dumb and not care what others think. This works for me at least. For example, I met a ton of new students at an event. I showed all of them a new dance move I made up called “The Knowles” (a video will be made someday with this, I promise). I looked dumb, but I got the whole group of new students to do it as well and spread the word. 2 days later I got a Facebook message about how excited they were that they made a new friend by doing the dance move to a student, and a friendship started.

These are my own personal intentional relational goals that I am working on. If you have any personal goals as well, please share! We are all in this together.

In Communication, high school ministry, Leadership, Relational, student ministry, Youth Ministry , , , ,
permalink

Yo Gabba Gabba For Adults

January 9, 2013 — 4 Comments

yo-gabba-gabba-channel

This last week I got to babysit my little niece and nephew for a few hours while their parents had a wedding to go to. No, do not worry, I had my wife with me to help. Without her those kids did not stand a chance. Ha! But while we were there my niece loved watching the show Yo Gabba Gabba, which is a children’s program with cute/weird characters and she was hooked into it. It was amazing. The moment that it came on, she actually sat still and watched it and would occasionally dance with the characters (super cute), but she was mesmerized by it. Now I am not speaking anything against it, I actually enjoyed the show because they have bands and musicians I love guest star on it, but I was just interested in the reaction of my niece when it was on. Her demeanor changed when it was on, she zoned out and nothing could get in her way and she noticed nothing around her that was happening. Unreal.

Cell phones are the Yo Gabba Gabba for adults and students. I am not going to lie, I love my phone. I read a ton of great things on it, I love posting on Instagram, checking Facebook and Twitter, without the maps app I would literally be lost going anywhere, they are useful. But my wife has hated me on it…why? Because I become like my niece watching her show. Then I started to notice our students doing the same (even in services! Shocker!). Not only students but all pastors who have a smart phone. There was one point this weekend where I was in a room full of adults with no one talking but all were on their phones.

We have let our minds become like a two-year old’s by droning out and not paying attention to what’s happening around us because we are too into what is happening in our phone.

I got to thinking, what are we teaching our students about how important they are if we cannot go a full conversation without checking our phone. How important does that person that person you are having coffee with feel when you can’t go 10 minutes without checking your email. How loved does my wife feel when I’m droned out on my phone sitting on the couch instead of engaging in even a simple conversation. I’m not saying our phone is bad, it’s actually quite helpful. I’m also not saying that we need to get rid of it and that I have all of the answers on how to combat this, what I like to call “Adult Gabba Gabba Syndrome”. It’s actually now being described by doctors as FOMO, fear of missing out, syndrome, but I like mine better.

Here are some things I have been intentionally trying to do so I do not fall into this what I feel potentially dangerous cycle in ministry:

  • When I’m at home, my phone is on “Do Not Disturb” (iPhone) and in my bedroom, where I cannot check it all of the time. 
  • When I’m at work, my phone stays on my desk. It doesn’t go with me when going into a meeting with someone or the team.
  • If I am with a student, my phone is off. There is nothing more important than that student sitting in front of you in that moment.
  • Same goes when I’m out with my wife or a friend at dinner. Most of the time I just leave it in the car so the temptation is not even there.

I’m not going to lie, I suck at doing this. And since I write this a week ago, I have failed numerous times. I’m trying to make this a habit. I NEED to make this a habit. I just thought I would share some easy ways to keep me honest and aware of what’s actually going on in front of me. Anything else you can suggest?

In Leadership, Ministry Idea, personal growth, Uncategorized , , , , , ,
permalink

The “Fringe” Kids

January 2, 2013 — 2 Comments

You know exactly who I am talking about. It’s the kids that just all of the sudden starting showing up because their group of friends go to the same school, who sit in the back, who talk the entire time, and that smoke on campus. The types of kids we all think, “What are they even doing here?” Right? Truth is, they are right where they belong. These types of kids are my personal favorite and even through they can be disruptive they will listen to the message and watch how you react to them, it just sometimes takes a little longer for life change to happen because they have their walls up. Jesus’ message has the power of life change, and once grasped they are hooked. I have seen it, and it is amazing.

The “fringe” kids can be very intimidating at times, so how do you get “in” with them so they start to listen and talk to you? This might be different for other people, but hear is a list I have come up with to help minister to these types of students:

Be intentional: You have to be. For the most part from what I have seen, the typical response to them if they went to another church, sadly, was you have to leave. So they already will see any adult as a threat and just making a point to know their name at first is huge! If they think this group will be different, they will stick around. If they stick around, they will hear the message, and hopefully eventually respond.

Be relational: That’s how Jesus would be. At my last church I served at, there was this particular group, exactly matches the description I said above, and I would try and make it point to hang out with them at some point of the night and establish a relationship with them. It got to the point where I invited them to In-n-Out after service and we then would go every single week after service and our relationship grew more and more.

Be strong: Can’t even tell you how many times I wanted to punch this group. Even through you establish a relationship, they will be them during service and be disruptive at times. There are times in which you will need to remove them from service and show them they cannot distract others from hearing the message, but instead of just kicking them out, go out with them. I would go outside and just talk with them for a second 1) To show them I still want to respect them and show I care for them 2) it’s one-on-one time with them outside and a great way to break down some walls. Then we would go back in after a few minutes and they would usually be god to go for the rest of the service.

Get them involved. The moment they realize they are apart of the night there is a change. I had a group of guys who would ride their BMX bikes to service every night we met. They would always come in early to leave their bikes in the back before sitting down. One night I asked them if they were to come in early, can they stand by the door and simply high-five everyone who came in the door when we opened them, and they did it, and they loved it. They then did it every week from then on out and it became their ministry. They were involved, they owned it, this was their church.

Be patient: It may not seem like it’s making any difference, but I promise you it is. If they are coming back, even through actions don’t change immediately, they are listening. The more relationship you gain with them the more they open up and trust. We had a leader who also had a heart for these kids. He would sit with them every service, take them out every service, and started a small group with them. He even hired some of them at the pizza place he managed. It is unreal the transformation in some of them. Some now are even pursuing ministry. Jesus works in their lives even if you can’t see it.

Be loving: That’s how Jesus was to people on the fringe. That is how we need to be. High schooler are the best B.S. detectors I know. they know when you are not genuine, so be loving and they will want to be around you and want you to be around them.

I have seen it. The “fringe” kids will turn into “core” kids if you give them a chance and love on them.

In Communication, God, high school ministry, Ministry Idea, Relational, student ministry, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry , , , , , ,
permalink

Church Isn’t For Church Kids

January 1, 2013 — 14 Comments

Crazy right? Now let me explain.

In all of my ministry experience (4 years as a volunteer, 3 as full time minister), serving in four different churches, I have only have been under the leadership or have lead with the mindset of passion for reaching the non-believer. Of course there is discipleship, but the main purpose of the ministry to students is students bring their friend who don’t know Jesus to church so they get a chance to know Him. This is still a huge passion of mine. I understand there are a ton of different philosophies of ministry and strategies to reaching students who do not know Jesus, and I only can speak in which the context I have served and am currently serving. I have always had the mind-set that our main services for students is to reach the non-believer, not the already saved and converted.

Now, in the context of ministry our team works in, on the basis of our church DNA and pastor’s heart, our church was founded by the concept of: “This church is going to be a church for the people who don’t like church”. Everything we do on the weekend services is not for the Christian, but for the non-believer. Same with our student ministry. Our whole weekend experience is to EXPOSE students to the Gospel of Jesus, through many different outlets. The church is competing with the world for attention, and the world is good at it. I believe our ministry needs to be more creative, intentional, and good at executing the message of Jesus through great music, videos, sermon illustrations for new students who have never been to church before. Something that will get them thinking, “This is church? Not what I was expecting. I’ll come back to this to hear about this Jesus guy.”

It’s easy to think that when we loose our identity in way we do our weekend services that what we are doing is not helping students grow. It’s not for the church kids, it’s for the ones who are new and do not usually go to church. Now listen, we preach the message to students, every single service, and our team has had to deal with apathetic students who say, “Well I just don’t get anything out of it anymore.” Usually my first questions back are, “Are you in a small group? Are you in scripture everyday? Are you serving somewhere? No wonder. The services are not for you” (I say this in a loving way of course).

Small groups are the back bone to our ministry. Our goal is to get all students in a life group because that is where I believe life change happens. We have more students in small groups than who attend our weekends (glory be to God because that is Him working amazingly through our small group leaders who minister to our students). Services are the means in which we get them to a small group to grow deeper in Christ, and our small group team and volunteer leaders do an amazing job at getting kids in groups to minister to them in ways that they need.

I understand that there are so many different ways in which we do ministry. I understand that their are some groups that go verse by verse through the Bible, which the last church I was serving at did, and it’s great. But you have to look at the type of people coming into your ministry and make the decision from there. Context changes at every group you go to. Our services are not geared for the devoted believer, small groups are for this, our services are geared for the non-believer to create an understandable message for them to know Jesus and then surround that message with fun and creative ways to help them understand it better.

What is your ministry philosophy on that? Do you plan this as well? How does it look different? 

In Devotional, high school ministry, Leadership, organization, Small Groups, student ministry, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry , , , , , , , , ,
permalink

3 Reasons Why You Should Get Away

December 19, 2012 — 2 Comments

230380_10151180249817934_595743884_n

So I just went to Hawaii on my honeymoon. Let’s just say it was incredible and I do not want to make you jealous, but 10 days in Kauai and Maui is the way to go. What I do hope what happens is that you get the itch to get away for a bit. Since I got to Saddleback, I have had time off, but this was my first “real long” time off that I have had and it was incredible. I literally turned off my phone (when was the last time you have done that for an extended period of time?), had no agenda, read a ton, got away and didn’t think about work.

Here is what I learned about my time away and why it was so important for me:

You get to refuel: I have never felt more energized as I do right now. Spending time, uninterrupted with my wife is such a blessing. I turned off my email. I didn’t go on Facebook, I only used my phone as a map. I got to sit, relax, and read a ton of books. I got to have some great fun, some things that I love to do….like eat, hike, and go on some adventures (kayaking, zip-lining, etc.) It’s amazing how much your realize how draining having constant emails, texts, voice mails, and meetings can be and to be able to turn it completely off is amazing. If you have trouble doing this while you are not in your office, you might need to have a vacation more than ever then because that is a problem. Get away, refuel.

You have to plan ahead: I was going to be gone for 12 days so that means I needed to make sure all of my duties were going to be taken care of. It caused me to look ahead 2 weeks and get my mind around what is going to need to happen while I’m gone. To be very clear in my direction and vision for the weekends so when we had our meeting the week before I left, I came in with guns blazing with ideas and our weekend team drew out the weekends on the whiteboards in detail. This got us 2 weeks ahead, which we have not been, and it allows us room to work from this point on. Hopefully we can keep up this momentum. It set us up to stay ahead in our weekend planning of services.

It allows others to step up: It is my responsibility that our weekends, all of the moving parts, come together to make one awesome service. Since I was going to be gone, it allowed other members of the weekend team to step up and take charge and lead these weekends. And honestly, they killed it. I came back just for the last weekend in our series and was blown away by what our team did. It was way better than what we originally planned in the first place and the series was probably one of my favorites and best ones we have done yet… and I wasn’t even there to over see it! The team stepped up in huge ways and now it has revealed to me what our team can do and I am excited to see what can come out of this for the future. Sometimes you have to get away and get out-of-the-way to allow the people around you to step up and dominate and see what they can do.

So… get away. For you, for your team, for your ministry. It’s healthy on all accounts!

In God, high school ministry, Leadership, Ministry Idea, service programing, student ministry, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry , , , , , , ,
permalink

HSM Freshman Rap Music Video

November 30, 2012 — Leave a comment

 

A few weeks ago we had a huge competition between the classes of HSM. Whomever brought the most canned foods to services over 3 weeks would get to write and record an anthem for their grade and then shoot a video for it.

Our freshmen class won and this is their video! Enjoy!

In funny, high school ministry, Leadership, organization, service programing, student ministry, video, Youth Ministry , , , , , , , ,
permalink

Philosophy on Entertainment vs Teaching

November 29, 2012 — 6 Comments

I got the following question in an email the other day and I thought I would turn my response into a post. Thought it was a great question.

What is your philosophy on the question entertainment vs teaching? How could you combine those two things?

As the weekend coordinator, I love to make sure everything flows together nicely, but I love to make sure our students are not sitting there bored out fo their minds while they are learning about who Jesus is. I completely agree with you in the fact that our churches are competing against the world for attention and creativity. So truly believe that our churches should be more creative than Disney or Apple or Pixar, and use our gifts that God has given us to glorify Him through our services for our students. I believe we are creative because our God is the most Creative. With that said, there is a fine line between completely leaning on the idea of entertainment and teaching.

When I look at programming our services with our team, we make sure that everything we do is intentional. What I mean by that is that we do not do anything just to do it or because we can because it would be fun or funny or entertaining. We look at our overall message of the weekend, whomever is teaching and look at their points that they are trying to let our students leave with and we will program around that first. It can be really easy to come up with a fun video or game and then have the message go around it, but we really try hard and are intentional to make sure whatever we do in services point to whatever the message we are trying to have our students walk out with. So as long as a game or a video has something to do with that direction of the message, we will go ahead and plan it out and have it in our service, and we want to do it well so that it will be engaging to our students. We want to be intentional for the reasons we do add something into services to help point them to the message, even if it just loosely connects to it.

We love to have fun and our team is super creative, so we put out some pretty fun and entertaining things during our services. We just make sure that entertainment is not the end all in why we do what we do. Like I said above, we want to expose students to the Gospel, and playing games or having funny videos can be a great way to soften a students heart for church if they can have fun while learning about Jesus.

Here are some links to videos of some of the fun, creative, entertaining things we have done in our services to point students to points in our messages:

Hopefully these sort of give you an idea of how we incorporate entertainment and teaching within our services. We like to have fun. We think church should not be boring because Jesus was not boring. We love coming up with creative things and even have creative team meetings that involved our staff, volunteers and students who help come up with creative ideas for services. You can check out those meetings here:

In Communication, God, high school ministry, Leadership, organization, service programing, student ministry , , , , , , , , , , ,
permalink

Group Atmosphere Makes A Huge Difference

November 27, 2012 — Leave a comment

The other day the HSM staff had a spiritual retreat day. This is a day in which our entire staff does not go into the office but instead we spend the entire day on our own reading and studying the Bible or any other books we want to which help us grow spiritually. There is no real structure, but our only restrictions are we take it seriously and we refrain rom social media and distractions as much as possible (which if you don’t do this regularly, you and your team should, its awesome). It is a great day to get away from the ministry norm and focus on you and God for an entire day with no distractions.

I started off my day in a Seattle’s Best Coffee place, which is weird for me because I’m a Starbuck’s junky, but I wanted to go to a place which was different to study and get out of my routine. I sat down, and I just was not feeling it. There was just something about the place that didn’t seem “right”. After some thinking, I realized it was the atmosphere. Nothing about it said, “This is a place to come hang and do work.” It was uncomfortable really. I realized I didn’t only like Starbucks for its coffee but I also loved it for the atmosphere they provide in the store to make you feel like you are supposed to be there and hang out for a while. So I left and went to a Starbucks to resume my day of Spiritual Retreat.

As I was driving to the Starbucks in which I usually post up at, the thought hit me, “Atmosphere makes a huge difference. In coffee places and in student ministries.” There is a reason why student flock to the Starbucks around their schools, because they feel like they are supposed to be there because the atmosphere tells them so. Same goes with our groups, the moment a new student walks through the door they will note the atmosphere around them and within seconds determine if they are “supposed” to be there or not. If Starbucks is intentional about creating an atmosphere then why shouldn’t we be doing the same thing? We are offering something way more important than coffee so we need to have the most inviting atmosphere which blows any organization out of the water.

When it comes to the weekends for HSM, our room is not the most inviting room to walk into as a newbie. It’s big, it’s crowded, and it’s designed to fit a ton of people in a small space. Outside is a narrow hallway which funnels right into the HSM Theater, again scary for a new person. But its how we make it look and feel out there, little subtle signs of invitation which makes you feel like it’s a place to hang out and feel welcomed. We have couches, coffee, chairs, music, leaders out talking to students, students welcoming students as they walk in, I myself stand right in the entry way to say hi or high five every student who walks in the doors. I can say our team tries our best to be intentional with atmosphere and making it feel welcome.

If someone does not FEEL the welcome the chances of them coming back is slim. Atmosphere makes a HUGE difference.

Some questions and suggestions when it comes to atmosphere at your group:

  • Go into a Starbucks (or some other place that makes you feel like you want to hang out there) and take note. The furniture is set up in a specific way for a reason. Take note.
  • Are you as intentional with your atmosphere as businesses are?
  • What music are you playing? Are you playing your favorite music, or your student’s favorite music? Music makes the MOOD.
  • Have you ever really looked at your meeting place as an “inviting” environment? Maybe you need to have a friend or even ask a new student how you can better the atmosphere as a first timer.

These are just some thoughts I am wrestling with and thinking through as well. Feel free to add anything or any other questions you might have so we al can figure this out together.

 

*There are some atmosphere related posts on new students, welcoming, greeting, etc. below:

2 Minute Greeting, How to Make a New or Outcast Student Feel Welcomed

In God, high school ministry, Leadership, Ministry Idea, organization, service programing, student ministry, Youth Ministry , , , , , , , ,
permalink