Archives For Saddleback student ministries

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I went in to get more tattoo work done last week, and I was talking with Mike my tattoo artist (to read more about Mike and my relationship click HERE) about how youth today are so much different and deal with things that we would never have thought of only 5 years ago. It got me thinking about what our youth need from their leaders. Here is what immediately come to mind:

Your time- Ultimately, students are not going to remember the sermons you preached or the lessons you taught, they are mostly going to remember the time you spent with them. Doing life with them. Being there for them.

Your authenticity- They need someone who can be real with them. If they can see how their leader handles life and hard situations, how they handle a social life, how they handle social media, someone who is going to be real with them and genuinely care for them with no walls up.

Your ear- They need someone to be able to go to and talk in a real, authentic way. For some reason they might not be able to do that with their friends and with their family and they need to know that there is at least one person who would be able to listen to them. It’s huge.

Your compassion- When they have your ear, some it it might just be a fun conversation about life while others might be super serious and need your counsel and prayer. Knowing that you care for them as Jesus cared for the people means a ton. even more important, showing them in tangible ways that you do. A text when they missed group or a service, a mid-week call, a note. Knowing that when they do come to you in times of need, they have a leader that show compassion for them.

Someone who can call them out- Whether they believe you or not, they will thank you later for being the one to call them out, in love, when they are doing wrong or going down a way that is not right. Having a leader that cares enough to have that tough conversation is huge.

Someone they can follow- The best leaders model a life in which they want their students to follow. That what a disciple is. Students need leaders who can show them how to live a life for Christ. Someone who will be able to show them what Jesus looks like, to the best of their ability, in real life.

Anything else you would add to this list?

There have been days, even weeks where I have felt ineffective. My group is not listening to a word I say. They same to be making bone head mistakes, all of the time. It seems as if ministry is just something I am trying to get through.

I have a pretty big small group of guys. The keep on bringing their friends who do not go to church, so obviously I’m not going to turn them away. they know they are welcomed here and won’t be judged. Most of my guys have grown up in the church. They know their stuff, it’s now the living it out that they are trying to learn how to do. The guys who are coming who are not Christians take it even to the next step of immediately Instgramming pictures of themselves drinking wine when they get home. Not trying to hide it, but bragging about smoking weed. So I have the Christian kids trying to figure it out, the non-Christian kids being themselves because they don’t know how to do anything else yet. Talks will need to take place when the timing is right, but it is part of the game.

But here is the thing. They come every single group. Almost the entire group, unless they have a game, is there. They come with their Bible and a pen and take notes. When we are going through our study, I look up and they are into it. Underlining. Taking notes. Circling. I can see it, in the guys who have grown up in the church and the guys who don’t believe yet, their wheels are turning in their minds. There is something working in them. God is working in them, and that gets me excited.

I just got a text from one of the guys who is just checking out this whole Jesus thing (his words) that said, “Ever since we analyzed the Bible on 1 John 1, I have been reading the Bible a lot more. Just want to give you thanks for helping me out! God and I are pretty much the closest we have ever been. My faith has been growing slowly more and more since I joined this group.”

THIS IS WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO!

Let me encourage you today:

  • Today we expect to see immediate results. That’s just our culture. God is working on them way harder, and more effectively than you are. Be confident He is working.
  • They are listening even when they do not seem like it.
  • Be patient. They are watching and listening to us. When they hear the Gospel and how it calls them to live, they see the difference it makes and most of the time they look at you on how to live that out.
  • The best thing in ministry (in my opinion) is to see a student finally get it. Something clicks and they are on fire for the Lord. It’s the best feeling to see how God is working in them.
  • Be encouraged that God is working in their lives and being faithful in their lives because you are being faithful to them by teaching them, being their for them, and doing life together with them.

It’s the text we get when the light bulb goes off and they finally let down their walls to allow God to start working fully in their lives, a reminder of why we do what we do.

Keep this in mind. It’s the best.

Ministry Idea: Photo Wall

December 18, 2012 — 2 Comments

photo

This is our photo wall as you walk towards our high school meeting room. It is literally full of pictures of our students from every event that we do and also from some of our services. We try to make sure we have a camera everywhere we go so we can continually update this wall. It’s pretty easy to make as well. We had a wall with nothing on it, that looked boring and we developed a whole bunch of pictures, got an easy stick spray from Micheal’s Arts & Crafts and started to post them. Here is why I like it:

It’s easy:  If you have a space in which you can do this, take advantage. We had a wall, we had tons of pictures, and it relatively cheap.

Students love it: They really do. I can’t tell you a time where I do not look over at it before or after service in which a student is looking at all of the pictures. It’s like a real life Instagram wall that gets updated with new pictures every time we do something. They are always trying to find the new ones that we put up.

New people get a glimpse of your ministry: Seeing a bunch of pictures can tell the story of your ministry before you even meet a new person. A new student can take one look at the photo wall and tell them what you do as a ministry for fun, in serving, what services look like, what events you do. They might even tell if they will like it or not, who knows. But its the first glimpse into your ministry, it could be your biggest advertisement.

It seems to work for us, maybe could be a good idea for you? Try it out and let me know.

You think it sometimes, I just said it.

I do not really know how else to say it, but sometimes the only way to describe how we feel about some students: “You’re being a butt-head”. We love them to death. We pour our lives out to them and for them. We want nothing more to see them grow in their faith and walk closer with Jesus but their choices and attitude show otherwise. It can be tough because you know they have the capability to do amazing things but for some reason, they are doing dumb things, and as youth workers it breaks our hearts.

I just talked with a mom this week who’s son I am really close to and she was venting to me about how she wants her son to love Jesus so much and that he was doing so good in his walk with Jesus and then in one weekend everything changed and he made some pretty bold, not so smart moves and is slowly going down hill. She asked me if I can non chalantly spark up conversation with him and see what is going on in his life, which for me (I thought) would be no problem because we have done this numerous times while hanging out getting coffee or food. We have had a great, open, talks about anything and everything relationship. So I called him to see if he wanted to hang out and instead of jumping at the chance (like he normally does) he was short and rude with me and brushed me off. I tried to hang out with him a few more time and again, brushed off and more bad decisions.

So what do you do? What can you do? What do you do when your heart breaks for a student who has so much potential and they are not going that way at all? How can you minister to them even if they are pushing you away?

  • Dont stop trying- We might seem annoying, but it’s important for them to know you have not forgotten about them. If they don’t show up for a while or are out of communication, a simple text, voicemail, or note will let them know you are still there for them and they will know this. We never want the reason for them not coming back is because they felt we as their leader forgot about them when they were far away.
  • Dont stop praying- This sounds simple but it can get lost in the everyday business or ministry. Even just letting them know you are praying for them, and then actually pray for them will go further than you can ever imagine. Maybe God will work on their heart and prompt them to talk to you.
  • Talk to their friends- If they wont talk to you, they talk to friends. For the student above, I went to one of his best friends in our group and asked him to minister to him because he would not meet with me, and it seems to be working. (I only did this because I knew this student was mature enough to do this. Make sure that student wont do more damage than not).
  • Wait for them to come back- You can’t do much to help someone who does not want to be helped. So we wait. Like the prodigal son, we wait until they return and when they do, no matter how far they stepped away and what they did, you welcome them back with open arms and love on them. Hopefully they do come back, if not, repeat steps 1-3.

What are some other ways in which you communicate to students who all of the sudden want nothing to do with you or our group?

We are forgetful people.  We always have been, ever since the Israelites left Egypt and continually fell into enemy hands because they had forgotten what God did for them, and we probably always will be, because with information swirling all around us in the form of the Internet, television, smart phones, etc., there’s no way we can remember it all.

That’s why in ministry, whether you are promoting the next youth ministry event or encouraging parents during the difficult task of raising teens, there are three things to remember in order for your message to be communicated effectively.

1.  Electronic communication is crucial.  For starters, it’s easy.  Well, at least it’s easy for those of us who grew up in the age of computers.  Sending an email reminder, setting up an e-newsletter, updating a website, and texting brief info are all simple and usually quick.  Not only does electronic communication save money on postage, it’s often FREE!  Set up a (free!) Facebook page for your ministry and update it daily, create a Mailchimp account to send (free!) e-newsletters and email blasts, create a (free!) stylish website with Weebly or one of many other easy to use website hosts, and start a web-based database using Simply Youth Ministry Tools (for free!).

Electronic communication gets your message to the people where they need it, on their phone, iPad, computer, etc., so they can save it how they want it and find it when they need it.  This is the way people’s minds are moving: don’t know the answer to something?  Google it!  It’s is all about making it easy for those you are communicating to, so do what you can to make sure you and your ministry are heard. 

2.  While communicating through new media is vital to any ministry, written communication is still not outdated.  Many have switched over to electronic-only communication, such as emailing newsletters, texting event details, and updating the website.  And as much as I would like to move to all web and email based communication, there are still people left in the “dark ages” of communication.  While not completely free, you can send home flyers or mail postcards with valuable information to parents and students.  Submit something to be printed in the church bulletin or pass out a half-sheet of information as people leave the service.

This is an important step for the dwindling population who prefer something to hold, put on the fridge, or file away for a later date, as it gives them something to refer back to in their preferred style.  By doing this, you’re making sure not to leave the paper-loving generation in the dark when it comes to information.  You are acknowledging where they are and walking alongside them, hoping to eventually show them the light of electronic communication.

3.  The one mode of communication that will probably never fall into a “dark age” is personal, face to face communication.  When getting a message across, face to face communication matters most, and it probably always will.  Catch a parent before they leave the building to check in, say hi, and ask them whether or not their teens will be attending the next big event.  Look for students while on their school campuses, meet their friends, and make connections.  Ask a parent face to face if they are finding the information in your e-newsletter helpful and get input to make you electronic communication even better.

Personal, face to face communication communicates value for the individual you are talking to and for the ministry.  You’ve taken time out of your day to connect with them and to better involve them in the process of seeing teens connect with God.  This speaks wonders to a parent worried about their children.

4.  And here’s a bonus forth tip for communicating a message in ministry…

DO ALL THREE!  Like a pine needle is made up of three separate needles, we need three forms of communication to have effective communication.  Don’t send an email and assume it didn’t get filtered to spam or deleted by accident.  Don’t just put an announcement in the bulletin and assume that everyone will be diligent about reading every word. Don’t tell someone about an event and not give them the resources to find the information later after they’ve forgotten what you said.  Communicate, communicate, communicate.  And if you think there’s a chance your message hasn’t gotten through, communicate again.  We’re called to make disciples of Christ, and effective communication to both students and parents is a vital organizational step so we can be freed up to see lives changed.

*Tim received his Bachelor of Arts in Youth Ministries and Master of Divinity from Azusa Pacific University.  Having never lived outside of California, Tim and his wife, Emily, have recently moved to Coeur d’Alene, Idaho, where Tim serves as the Pastor Pastor of Student Ministries at Coeur d’Alene Bible Church. You can follow Tim on Twitter @tgardner7

Small groups can be scary.  Every week you pray, prepare, and expect God to do great things.  But what happens when your 12 students become 3 students?  It is tremendously heart breaking.  We have all faced seasons in ministry when it seems like your students are completely indifferent about God, eternity, much less discipleship.  It would be easy to begin questioning what you are doing wrong?  Why aren’t the students’ families making this a priority?  Do I suck at this?

I have gone through this and there are times I have allowed these circumstances to harden my heart and take my focus off of God and turn that focus to “results”.  My goal is to love God and my family and invite students to be a part of our lives and journey.  I want students to be able to own their faith instead of borrowing from their parents or mine.  That can only be done by God and the student.  It doesn’t make it any easier when you see great potential get lost in an ungodly teenage romantic relationship.  Or the mysterious disappearing student that was always there and now won’t return your text.

I don’t have an answer for why this happens, but I do have a suggestion. Love your ONE and love your 3!  Go after God in ways you normally wouldn’t (i.e. fasting, thanking God instead of just asking, and taking time to just listen for His voice).  Pour into your 3 students and make sure they know you love them and you love being there.

This isn’t a quick fix that will get your group back to 12, but it is A way to stay spiritually healthy and hungry.  I love small groups.  They are honest, irreverent, and open for discussion.  And when everything goes wrong, just love your ONE and love your 3.

Jeremy Bloom is the Youth Ministry Director at Shoreline Church. He blogs at http://theymlife.blogspot.com/ and you can follow him on twitter @finding_jeremy.

If you have not seen the Korean music video “Gangnam Style“… you probably do not have a computer or a TV because it has over 200,000,000 views on Youtube, it has been on SNL, Ellen and probably has been played in every student ministry in the nation (I wouldn’t be surprised to be honest because it’s super catchy).

We just had our fall kick-off and our students wanted to do our opener with this song. They did a “translation” of the words as well. They went all out and it was so fun. So here it is:

 

I’ll be the first one to admit it. I get jealous of other pastors or ministries. I’m human. There are other people who are just better at speaking than me, who are more creative than me, and you see it by how many people follow them, listen to them, show up to their events or services. But pastors cant get jealous of each other right? How does one combat not getting jealous of other ministries? Here are some things that I have to check myself on.

  • Jealousy will make a person lose focus. When you are jealous, you are focusing on someone’s else’s God-movement and not focusing on the one that God has given you. It causes us to loose sight of the responsibility that God has given us when we focus on someone else’s. I know for me, if I were to focus on what my ministry as much as I spent watching someone do theirs, I probably would do better myself. When you get jealous, your path is set by THEM rather than the Lord.
  • Admit it. There is no use of hiding it. Why? Because we know we’re in it for God’s Kingdom, not for ours. Does it matter if the church down the road is bigger, better, more influential if God’s Kingdom is advancing? Let’s just call it like it is, it is sinful and worldly. It is usually out of our own spirit of jealousy and it will cause us to say things and think things that are not kingdom building. Suddenly they’re not our brother/sister any more, they’re ‘competition’.
  • Turn it into inspiration. Obviously you think that person is successful, otherwise you wouldn’t have jealous feelings about what they are doing. Instead of sitting back and letting it happen, turn it into a learning experience. They are obviously doing something right in a way that you want to see your ministry succeed in as well. Seek them out and and take them out. Pick their brain. You never know what you can learn and maybe you will see what ever results you saw from their event at yours. If not, you have a new ministry friend and contact.
  • This might not be what you need. When people are jealous, it causes you to see things that your ministry may not need, but because you see “them” have it, you want it. But the thing is, a ministry might not have a strong fellowship aspect, so they try a dance party and it was a huge success for them. So you see it and you want it. But your group already has a great fellowship aspect but it really needs more people in small groups, but you dont see it because you’re so focused on their needs and not your ministry’s need.

When we are jealous it usually means that we are are not satisfied with what God has given us. Because when you look at what you have, you are blessed. If we are teaching the what the Bible says we need to believe that God will not forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), and we need to be content with what we have. In order to combat jealousy we need to be more like Jesus and less like ourselves. If we find ourselves to be jealous we need to in prayer and work on changing our hearts to those we are jealous of. Jealousy is such a human thing to be involved in and it has no place is Godly work.