Archives For youth ministry blog

MADE: Shaped by God

March 4, 2013 — Leave a comment

made_web

 

MADE is a 3-week study for students in getting them to dive deeper into some Biblical truths about how God wants us to be more like clay, branches, and sheep. Each of these 3 topics takes a full week to go through: one section a day for 3 weeks.

It will hopefully show students how God wants to be able to help mold us like clay because He is the Potter, how we need to be branches and be connected to the vine, Himself, the source of life, and how to be sheep in the care of the shepherd.

Each day takes about 5 minutes to read through a passage of Scripture and journal through some questions about it. This is a great way for your students to dive just a little bit deeper into their faith with God, learning how to know Him in a more intimate way.

Here is a sample from Week 1 Day 2. If you want to check out the full resource, you can get it for $5 on Download Youth Ministry. I hope it would be a great resource for your students:

Day 2: Do Not Quarrel with the Potter

 

“Does the clay say to the potter, ‘What are you making?’ Does your work say,

 ‘He has no hands?”-

 Isaiah 45:8

 

As we mentioned yesterday, it can be easy to be too critical on ourselves and to think God may have made a mistake on us. Instead of trusting God’s design for us, we choose to trust what the world tells us is right. But how would God respond to our questioning Him? Can the clay question the potter?

 

Read Isaiah 45:5-12

  1. How do verses 5-7 reveal God’s power and majesty?
  2. Why do you think people (including Christians) believe that the God who created the world would make a mistake on those made in His image (Genesis 1:27)?
  3. How does verse 11 show that God reserves the right to be the Potter even if the clay doesn’t like how it is being shaped?
  4. What are some ways you have questioned God as the Potter and the Maker of your life? How does this passage point you to trust in Him and His work?

 

See also: Romans 9:20-21; Isaiah 29:16; Deuteronomy 32:5-6

In Devotional, God, student ministry, Youth Ministry , , , , ,
permalink

What Do You Do When a Student Walks Away

February 21, 2013 — 2 Comments

url-2

So a student starts coming to your group because they have hit rock bottom and wants to do something to turn their life around. So naturally, the church is somewhere they think they need to go. And they are right. They jump all in. Making friends, reading the Bible, praying, all the stuff. Real, authentic relationships are forming, they are opening up, they say they are getting closer and closer with God to where they just need one more step forward to start a relationship with Him…and then they are gone. They disappear. They stop coming, don’t call or text back. You see on Facebook they are back to their old ways. What the heck happened? What do we do?

This just happened to me. I thought I would share about how I go about it and hopefully it can help somebody else:

  • Let them know they are missed. Obviously something, whether inside them or inside the group, happened. I just to let them know they are loved and missed no matter what. Letting them know by either on Facebook or text or call, even when they do not respond back they will know they are not just going to disappear without a trace. I want them to know they are missed.
  • Pray for them. Might seem obvious but I think it’s huge. Something going on, and sometime the only thing you can do is pray for them. Pray for their heart to be opened to what you saw them leaning towards when they were around.
  • Sick the students from their school on them. I tell the guys in my group just to love on him at school. Not to over bearing, but even though he is not coming to the group anymore that doesn’t mean he is going to be ignored at school by the guys. They will talk to him at lunch, hang at school and always invite him to come back to group to hang out. They will feel the love from the group even if they stopped coming to the group.
  • When and if they come back, welcome them like the prodigal son returning and make it known they were missed and that they are loved. Make it seem like they never have missed a beat.

It’s always rough seeing a student walk away when they were so close to knowing Jesus. We just need to be patient and pray God is working in their heart.

*I wrote this post a few days ago, and last night I had to come add this part on because a student in my group who has seemed to do this just came back to group for the first time in a long time. So for me, this works. It worked. It’s working.

In high school ministry, Leadership, Small Groups, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry , , , , ,
permalink

3 Things To Keep in Mind When Counseling Non-Christians

February 19, 2013 — Leave a comment
url-1
The other week, I had a student whom I have counseled before come up to me and ask me if I could meet with a friend of his who has gotten into some trouble. He said because I have helped him out in the past, he thought I could maybe help his friend out as well. The only thing is, his friend is not Christian, he doesn’t really know what he is or if he has any belief system. All he knows is that I have helped him and his friend is open to meet and hang out. So we set up a lunch. I bet his happens all of the time with students who are in our ministries who want us to get in contact with their friends. The meeting is awkward, yes, but I wrote down some thoughts when meeting with a non-Christian for some counseling

  • Don’t forget the obvious: know and love the person.- When meeting with something who is not Christian, it always involves building a friendship. Get to know them. Ask them questions. Express your appreciation of their willingness to come meet. Show tenderness and compassion for them. Be open about yourself while you are spending time with them. Listen well and discern what is important. Ask them how they are doing and really mean it. We are allowed to care for a friend who is not Christian, why should counseling be different?
  • Help the person look in the mirror.- Help people see themselves accurately. No one does this instinctively. The questions, comments, and reflections you offer have a purpose. They guide non-Christians to articulate their world and simultaneously begin to reinterpret it. Here are some categories of questions you might want to ask: Questions that bring out good that is already present. Questions that flesh out significant life situations. Questions that pin point behaviors. Questions that help show their priorities in their lives. These questions can help them find out where their hope lies. It can help them see more clearly who they really are. True self-knowledge is huge! Knowing what they are about and why and discovering that can be a huge awakening and they would be “holing up a mirror” to their own life. This then gives us the opportunity to share with them the amazing news of Jesus.
  • Find out what the person thinks about God.- Every person who is not a Christian has a reason for not being a Christian. It could be from they never gave it a chance, someone who called themselves a Christian hurt them, they were burnt by a church, etc. there could be many reasons. Understanding the “God”- Christian or otherwise – a person is serving or rejecting is very, very helpful. When we are counseling, this is a ministry and ministry is evangelism. We strive for a friendship and then the next step is speaking about and letting them know the Good News of the Good Shepherd. What happens when someone acknowledges shame, guilt, wounds, wickedness, weakness or loneliness? That person becomes more open to a Shepherd who laid down his life so his sheep could have glorious, endless, forgiven, painless, shameless,eternal life with God as part of his family.
Does this always happen. Not at all. I pray it does. When it doesn’t, we don’t know what the seeds we sowed will do in the future, but we do know at this time in their life they knew they had a loving adult leader love on them in their time of need and they will never forget that. There has been a number of times in which after I met with students who “moved on” who I have not heard from for years and I get a call saying “Thank you” for that “one time.”
I hope this was of some help. I know when I am counseling students, I try to keep these things in mind.
In God, Leadership, student ministry, Youth Ministry , , , , , , ,
permalink

What Students Need From Their Youth Leaders

January 23, 2013 — 2 Comments

volunteers

I went in to get more tattoo work done last week, and I was talking with Mike my tattoo artist (to read more about Mike and my relationship click HERE) about how youth today are so much different and deal with things that we would never have thought of only 5 years ago. It got me thinking about what our youth need from their leaders. Here is what immediately come to mind:

Your time- Ultimately, students are not going to remember the sermons you preached or the lessons you taught, they are mostly going to remember the time you spent with them. Doing life with them. Being there for them.

Your authenticity- They need someone who can be real with them. If they can see how their leader handles life and hard situations, how they handle a social life, how they handle social media, someone who is going to be real with them and genuinely care for them with no walls up.

Your ear- They need someone to be able to go to and talk in a real, authentic way. For some reason they might not be able to do that with their friends and with their family and they need to know that there is at least one person who would be able to listen to them. It’s huge.

Your compassion- When they have your ear, some it it might just be a fun conversation about life while others might be super serious and need your counsel and prayer. Knowing that you care for them as Jesus cared for the people means a ton. even more important, showing them in tangible ways that you do. A text when they missed group or a service, a mid-week call, a note. Knowing that when they do come to you in times of need, they have a leader that show compassion for them.

Someone who can call them out- Whether they believe you or not, they will thank you later for being the one to call them out, in love, when they are doing wrong or going down a way that is not right. Having a leader that cares enough to have that tough conversation is huge.

Someone they can follow- The best leaders model a life in which they want their students to follow. That what a disciple is. Students need leaders who can show them how to live a life for Christ. Someone who will be able to show them what Jesus looks like, to the best of their ability, in real life.

Anything else you would add to this list?

In Free Stuff, God, high school ministry, Leadership, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry , , , , , ,
permalink

This Is Why We Do What We Do

January 22, 2013 — 2 Comments

There have been days, even weeks where I have felt ineffective. My group is not listening to a word I say. They same to be making bone head mistakes, all of the time. It seems as if ministry is just something I am trying to get through.

I have a pretty big small group of guys. The keep on bringing their friends who do not go to church, so obviously I’m not going to turn them away. they know they are welcomed here and won’t be judged. Most of my guys have grown up in the church. They know their stuff, it’s now the living it out that they are trying to learn how to do. The guys who are coming who are not Christians take it even to the next step of immediately Instgramming pictures of themselves drinking wine when they get home. Not trying to hide it, but bragging about smoking weed. So I have the Christian kids trying to figure it out, the non-Christian kids being themselves because they don’t know how to do anything else yet. Talks will need to take place when the timing is right, but it is part of the game.

But here is the thing. They come every single group. Almost the entire group, unless they have a game, is there. They come with their Bible and a pen and take notes. When we are going through our study, I look up and they are into it. Underlining. Taking notes. Circling. I can see it, in the guys who have grown up in the church and the guys who don’t believe yet, their wheels are turning in their minds. There is something working in them. God is working in them, and that gets me excited.

I just got a text from one of the guys who is just checking out this whole Jesus thing (his words) that said, “Ever since we analyzed the Bible on 1 John 1, I have been reading the Bible a lot more. Just want to give you thanks for helping me out! God and I are pretty much the closest we have ever been. My faith has been growing slowly more and more since I joined this group.”

THIS IS WHY WE DO WHAT WE DO!

Let me encourage you today:

  • Today we expect to see immediate results. That’s just our culture. God is working on them way harder, and more effectively than you are. Be confident He is working.
  • They are listening even when they do not seem like it.
  • Be patient. They are watching and listening to us. When they hear the Gospel and how it calls them to live, they see the difference it makes and most of the time they look at you on how to live that out.
  • The best thing in ministry (in my opinion) is to see a student finally get it. Something clicks and they are on fire for the Lord. It’s the best feeling to see how God is working in them.
  • Be encouraged that God is working in their lives and being faithful in their lives because you are being faithful to them by teaching them, being their for them, and doing life together with them.

It’s the text we get when the light bulb goes off and they finally let down their walls to allow God to start working fully in their lives, a reminder of why we do what we do.

Keep this in mind. It’s the best.

In God, high school ministry, Leadership, personal growth, Relational, student ministry, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry , , , , , ,
permalink

Helping Students Pray for Friends and Family

January 14, 2013 — 2 Comments

praying3_web

Below is a little project I’m working on. I’ll explain more in a few weeks but I thought I would share a little excerpt from it. This particular section is talking about how we can walk students through praying for their friends and family who do not know who God is. Hope it’s useful:

I don’t know about you, but when it comes to my friends and family, there are no other people on this planet that I would rather spend a majority of my time with. Now we all know no family or friend group is perfect, they all have their shortcomings and annoyances, but for the most part they are people you love and respect. Also if you are anything like me, you have friends and family that do not know how much God loves them and they do not know Jesus the way you do.

One of the greatest things you can do for your friends and family is pray for them. We have 4 ways in which we can pray for our family and friends:

  1. Pray for an opportunity to talk about Jesus (Colossians 4:3). Ask God to give you an opportunity to tell others about Christ and to invite them to your small group. God will take you seriously and answer your prayer!
  2. Pray for God to prepare hearts. Pastor Rick sometimes says, “Do you know how God softens hearts? He sends the rain!” Anytime you see someone going through a storm in life, you can know God is softening a heart.
  3. Pray for God to burden your heart. Ask God to make your heart tender toward a specific person or group of people.
  4. Pray that God’s Word will simply take off. Pray that the words of Jesus “will simply take off and race through the country to a groundswell of response” (2 Thessalonians 3:1 MSG), just as they did among the early Christians.

It is important to know that God loves your family more than you do. He is a good God. It says like a basic thing but it really is profound. We need to remember to pray these things in faith. Faith energizes us; it allows us to be close to God continuously. We have to remember to be patient and allow God to work. Change could happen tomorrow, it could take twenty years. We need to allow God to work.

Take time, right now, to go over the 4 ways to pray for friends and family. Remember to pray with a humble and repentant heart. We first need to be right with God, because in my life, I saw people start to change when I changed myself first. Pray for your friends and family today that God would move in their lives.

*Some material from our Saddleback outreach materials.

In Devotional, God, Prayer, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry , , , ,
permalink

Yo Gabba Gabba For Adults

January 9, 2013 — 4 Comments

yo-gabba-gabba-channel

This last week I got to babysit my little niece and nephew for a few hours while their parents had a wedding to go to. No, do not worry, I had my wife with me to help. Without her those kids did not stand a chance. Ha! But while we were there my niece loved watching the show Yo Gabba Gabba, which is a children’s program with cute/weird characters and she was hooked into it. It was amazing. The moment that it came on, she actually sat still and watched it and would occasionally dance with the characters (super cute), but she was mesmerized by it. Now I am not speaking anything against it, I actually enjoyed the show because they have bands and musicians I love guest star on it, but I was just interested in the reaction of my niece when it was on. Her demeanor changed when it was on, she zoned out and nothing could get in her way and she noticed nothing around her that was happening. Unreal.

Cell phones are the Yo Gabba Gabba for adults and students. I am not going to lie, I love my phone. I read a ton of great things on it, I love posting on Instagram, checking Facebook and Twitter, without the maps app I would literally be lost going anywhere, they are useful. But my wife has hated me on it…why? Because I become like my niece watching her show. Then I started to notice our students doing the same (even in services! Shocker!). Not only students but all pastors who have a smart phone. There was one point this weekend where I was in a room full of adults with no one talking but all were on their phones.

We have let our minds become like a two-year old’s by droning out and not paying attention to what’s happening around us because we are too into what is happening in our phone.

I got to thinking, what are we teaching our students about how important they are if we cannot go a full conversation without checking our phone. How important does that person that person you are having coffee with feel when you can’t go 10 minutes without checking your email. How loved does my wife feel when I’m droned out on my phone sitting on the couch instead of engaging in even a simple conversation. I’m not saying our phone is bad, it’s actually quite helpful. I’m also not saying that we need to get rid of it and that I have all of the answers on how to combat this, what I like to call “Adult Gabba Gabba Syndrome”. It’s actually now being described by doctors as FOMO, fear of missing out, syndrome, but I like mine better.

Here are some things I have been intentionally trying to do so I do not fall into this what I feel potentially dangerous cycle in ministry:

  • When I’m at home, my phone is on “Do Not Disturb” (iPhone) and in my bedroom, where I cannot check it all of the time. 
  • When I’m at work, my phone stays on my desk. It doesn’t go with me when going into a meeting with someone or the team.
  • If I am with a student, my phone is off. There is nothing more important than that student sitting in front of you in that moment.
  • Same goes when I’m out with my wife or a friend at dinner. Most of the time I just leave it in the car so the temptation is not even there.

I’m not going to lie, I suck at doing this. And since I write this a week ago, I have failed numerous times. I’m trying to make this a habit. I NEED to make this a habit. I just thought I would share some easy ways to keep me honest and aware of what’s actually going on in front of me. Anything else you can suggest?

In Leadership, Ministry Idea, personal growth, Uncategorized , , , , , ,
permalink

How to Deal with Apathetic Students

January 3, 2013 — 8 Comments

Is it just me or are more and more students who are coming into church, or even those who has been at church all their lives, are becoming more and more apathetic towards church? Apathetic meaning: indifferent, uninterested, unconcerned, and bored. When I am walking around meeting students on the weekend services it has been amazing me on how many students literally don’t care about being there and participating in services. They just don’t care; they are forced to be there.  Although some students are the ones to go through a rebellious stage, others appear to be getting showing apathy and boredom. Psychoanalyst Peter Blos writes that both of these are signs of the same struggle: “giving up childhood in emerging in the young adult identity”. That this apathy is just the morning of the simplicity of child-hood is gone and it looking at the transition into young adult-hood without a real plan, and this is the reaction we are getting.

When we look at this issue through this lens, we realize that warmth, patience and humor can go a long way towards helping a teenager emerge from apathy towards the church. Here are some helpful things to keep in mind when dealing with students who are apathetic in your ministry:

Be patient. Don’t try to hurry it along. Prodding and urging almost always creates additional resistance. Patiently getting along with an apathetic student produces more results than confrontation. This is resistance is necessary for the student as they are processing their transition and this should be met with tolerant, patient adults. Attempt to force change in a student will result in more apathy. We simply need to be patient with them and love on them when they enter the room and let them know you are there for them.

Accept it. This doesn’t mean you give up on them. Looking at it as a transitional stage to adulthood, this stage is necessary for it to move on past apathy. We as their pastors, need to understand that this is something that they need to go through as they are wrestling with life, school, home, and God circumstances going on simultaneously in their lives.

Continue as planned. Continue to do services as planned, greet students as you always have, play the games you always have every service. If this is something they need to go through, there is no need to cater and to try to force something that is not going to happen. An apathetic student might withhold themselves from such activities, but will always observe them and from time to time want to engage in them. Don’t comment on them doing so, just accept it graciously. A fun filled environment will help an apathetic student with this transitional stage than an over bearing, forced atmosphere.

Be okay with rejection. It’s okay. Most of the time it will pass. A pastor’s love MUST survive adolescent rejection because usually it ends up in appreciation and gratitude on behalf of the student.

Know that God is working. Be optimistic that God is working in their lives and that if we as their pastors are there for them, loving them, including them, inviting them, going on with our services and fun and games and continue to preach Jesus, more times than not they will come around and be closer to God and thankful that you kept up with them in the group.

We need to keep love and humor alive in the face of apathy and the stirrings of interest in God and the motivation to know Him more will begin to grow.

In Communication, God, high school ministry, Leadership, personal growth, Small Groups, student ministry, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry , , , , , ,
permalink

The “Fringe” Kids

January 2, 2013 — 2 Comments

You know exactly who I am talking about. It’s the kids that just all of the sudden starting showing up because their group of friends go to the same school, who sit in the back, who talk the entire time, and that smoke on campus. The types of kids we all think, “What are they even doing here?” Right? Truth is, they are right where they belong. These types of kids are my personal favorite and even through they can be disruptive they will listen to the message and watch how you react to them, it just sometimes takes a little longer for life change to happen because they have their walls up. Jesus’ message has the power of life change, and once grasped they are hooked. I have seen it, and it is amazing.

The “fringe” kids can be very intimidating at times, so how do you get “in” with them so they start to listen and talk to you? This might be different for other people, but hear is a list I have come up with to help minister to these types of students:

Be intentional: You have to be. For the most part from what I have seen, the typical response to them if they went to another church, sadly, was you have to leave. So they already will see any adult as a threat and just making a point to know their name at first is huge! If they think this group will be different, they will stick around. If they stick around, they will hear the message, and hopefully eventually respond.

Be relational: That’s how Jesus would be. At my last church I served at, there was this particular group, exactly matches the description I said above, and I would try and make it point to hang out with them at some point of the night and establish a relationship with them. It got to the point where I invited them to In-n-Out after service and we then would go every single week after service and our relationship grew more and more.

Be strong: Can’t even tell you how many times I wanted to punch this group. Even through you establish a relationship, they will be them during service and be disruptive at times. There are times in which you will need to remove them from service and show them they cannot distract others from hearing the message, but instead of just kicking them out, go out with them. I would go outside and just talk with them for a second 1) To show them I still want to respect them and show I care for them 2) it’s one-on-one time with them outside and a great way to break down some walls. Then we would go back in after a few minutes and they would usually be god to go for the rest of the service.

Get them involved. The moment they realize they are apart of the night there is a change. I had a group of guys who would ride their BMX bikes to service every night we met. They would always come in early to leave their bikes in the back before sitting down. One night I asked them if they were to come in early, can they stand by the door and simply high-five everyone who came in the door when we opened them, and they did it, and they loved it. They then did it every week from then on out and it became their ministry. They were involved, they owned it, this was their church.

Be patient: It may not seem like it’s making any difference, but I promise you it is. If they are coming back, even through actions don’t change immediately, they are listening. The more relationship you gain with them the more they open up and trust. We had a leader who also had a heart for these kids. He would sit with them every service, take them out every service, and started a small group with them. He even hired some of them at the pizza place he managed. It is unreal the transformation in some of them. Some now are even pursuing ministry. Jesus works in their lives even if you can’t see it.

Be loving: That’s how Jesus was to people on the fringe. That is how we need to be. High schooler are the best B.S. detectors I know. they know when you are not genuine, so be loving and they will want to be around you and want you to be around them.

I have seen it. The “fringe” kids will turn into “core” kids if you give them a chance and love on them.

In Communication, God, high school ministry, Ministry Idea, Relational, student ministry, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry , , , , , ,
permalink

Church Isn’t For Church Kids

January 1, 2013 — 14 Comments

Crazy right? Now let me explain.

In all of my ministry experience (4 years as a volunteer, 3 as full time minister), serving in four different churches, I have only have been under the leadership or have lead with the mindset of passion for reaching the non-believer. Of course there is discipleship, but the main purpose of the ministry to students is students bring their friend who don’t know Jesus to church so they get a chance to know Him. This is still a huge passion of mine. I understand there are a ton of different philosophies of ministry and strategies to reaching students who do not know Jesus, and I only can speak in which the context I have served and am currently serving. I have always had the mind-set that our main services for students is to reach the non-believer, not the already saved and converted.

Now, in the context of ministry our team works in, on the basis of our church DNA and pastor’s heart, our church was founded by the concept of: “This church is going to be a church for the people who don’t like church”. Everything we do on the weekend services is not for the Christian, but for the non-believer. Same with our student ministry. Our whole weekend experience is to EXPOSE students to the Gospel of Jesus, through many different outlets. The church is competing with the world for attention, and the world is good at it. I believe our ministry needs to be more creative, intentional, and good at executing the message of Jesus through great music, videos, sermon illustrations for new students who have never been to church before. Something that will get them thinking, “This is church? Not what I was expecting. I’ll come back to this to hear about this Jesus guy.”

It’s easy to think that when we loose our identity in way we do our weekend services that what we are doing is not helping students grow. It’s not for the church kids, it’s for the ones who are new and do not usually go to church. Now listen, we preach the message to students, every single service, and our team has had to deal with apathetic students who say, “Well I just don’t get anything out of it anymore.” Usually my first questions back are, “Are you in a small group? Are you in scripture everyday? Are you serving somewhere? No wonder. The services are not for you” (I say this in a loving way of course).

Small groups are the back bone to our ministry. Our goal is to get all students in a life group because that is where I believe life change happens. We have more students in small groups than who attend our weekends (glory be to God because that is Him working amazingly through our small group leaders who minister to our students). Services are the means in which we get them to a small group to grow deeper in Christ, and our small group team and volunteer leaders do an amazing job at getting kids in groups to minister to them in ways that they need.

I understand that there are so many different ways in which we do ministry. I understand that their are some groups that go verse by verse through the Bible, which the last church I was serving at did, and it’s great. But you have to look at the type of people coming into your ministry and make the decision from there. Context changes at every group you go to. Our services are not geared for the devoted believer, small groups are for this, our services are geared for the non-believer to create an understandable message for them to know Jesus and then surround that message with fun and creative ways to help them understand it better.

What is your ministry philosophy on that? Do you plan this as well? How does it look different? 

In Devotional, high school ministry, Leadership, organization, Small Groups, student ministry, Uncategorized, Youth Ministry , , , , , , , , ,
permalink